I am learning that God is very good at giving us opportunities to put our ‘faith applications” in place. What I mean is, we often go around in our daily lives saying cliques like “I have faith” and “God is in control”. What is really interesting is when we get life lessons and whether or not the things that we say, and believe line up with our life experiences. This week I had my annual mammogram, the one that I usually dread and put off until the last possible moment. This year was no different. After my appointment last Monday, I received a call from the Radiologist’s Assistant asking me to come back in this week for additional diagnostic testing. She stated that it appeared the new mammogram showed something “new” that was not on the last few that they used in comparison. The reason for the uneasiness is that my mother had Breast Cancer at the age of thirty.
Can I be real with you? Cancer scares me to death! This is the one thing in my life that makes me so uneasy! I have seen the tragic and horrible destruction that it has left on my loved ones! It has been very upsetting wondering what my life would be like if I was not in good health. I believe the hardest part for me is not knowing the outcome.
I also know that God is in control of every aspect of my life, and all those around me. I must believe, even when I don’t feel like it. It takes more courage to trust in God, and I truly mean trusting in Him when the outcome is not always favorable/ I am reading again Kay Warren’s book, “Choose Joy”
Fast forward to the morning of my diagnostic test; I had been up since about 430 am. No matter how hard I tried to get into a deep sleep, it seemed God has something important to tell me. In my dream his message was clear today, “no matter what the circumstances are today, and no matter how it appears to look regarding test results, that I must trust him on this. It is a deeper movement into trusting him, and allowing him to work out all the details for his good. He has a higher purpose in all of this, and no matter what He is in control always. As I sit here on my porch rocking, I am reminded through the cloud of his power and presence. It appears as if today it is getting ready to rain, but through the clouds just a minute ago, a burst of sunlight just appeared, warming the side of my face. I had never felt the sun’s presence so bright at eight o’ clock in the morning. It is funny sometimes God uses opportunities like we go through to help others as well. This may be nothing on my end medically, but to someone who is reading this, or another person that I will talk too, a medical message for them or a small reminder for them to take care of themselves.
I do not know the outcome, not really going to worry about it today, all I know is that I have a God who loves me, will never leave me nor forsake me, and always takes the opportunity to turn something negative into something positive.